The Fate of Tyrlon and other Dubious Things

Mother’s Day is the second Sunday in May, and this year it falls on May 11th. Today is April 30th, so that gives everyone 11 days to find and obtain a gift for their mothers or wives (more on this one in a bit).

First i’m going to cover what NOT to buy your Mother or wife if you want to stay out of the doghouse. In the next post i’ll go over some general tips (including the one about wives) and also offer up 5 products that should make great gifts. I’ll be using enhanced links to Amazon.Com products for this so you can mouse-over any link to see what the product costs / looks like etc. Note: some of the products below might actually be great items, but they just might not go over well on Mother’s Day!

5 Things NOT to Buy

1.

Type of Item: Book

Product Name/Title: OUTSMARTING THE MIDLIFE FAT CELL: WINNING WEIGHT CONTROL STRATEGIES FOR WOMEN OVER 35 TO STAY FIT THROUGH MENOPAUSE

Price: $10.36

Reasons Not to Buy: Do I really need to cover why? First of all you are implying your mother is fat. Secondly, you are telling her she is old. This is a deadly combination and is sure to land you in the doghouse for years to come.

2.

Type of Item: Book

Product Name/Title: Geezerhood: What to expect from life now that you’re as old as dirt (Truth about Life)

Price: $5.95

Reasons Not to Buy: Like the first product mentioned above, you’re saying “gee mom, you’re really old now!”. Note: this is not a good way to earn brownie points.

3.

Type of Item: Power Tool

Product Name/Title: DEWALT DW718 Heavy-Duty 15 Amp 12-Inch Dual Bevel Sliding Compound Miter Saw

Price: $549.95

Reasons Not to Buy: This isn’t Father’s Day, and unless your mother is a lumberjack (no offense to lumberjack moms, you’re cool too!), your mom might not appreciate you buying her power tools that you want for her special day.

4.

Type of Item: Diamond

Product Name/Title: Certified Diamond (Round, Very Good cut, 13.16 carats, G color, VS2 clarity)

Price: $1,041,230

Reasons Not to Buy: Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but when you have to sell the house, the car, the boat, your kids, your furnishings, and your TV to buy them it’s not worth it. Try being a little more reasonable unless your last name is “Buffet” or “Gates” and you have money blowing a hole in your pockets. Also, this diamond is over 15mm in diameter, which puts it at around .60 inches across! For reference that means it is the entire width of most people’s ring fingers. I think that might look just a touch gawdy. Also, when you get a diamond that is “too big”, most people assume it is just a CZ anyway.

5.

Type of Item: Laundry Detergent

Product Name/Title: Tide HE 2x Concentrated Liquid Detergent, Original Scent, 64 Load Bottle (Pack of 4)

Price: $67.94

Reasons Not to Buy: While you may think it funny since mom did your laundry all those years, she might not find it quite so amusing. Also, if you need laundry detergent you probably should have bought some already. This gift does not qualify as “romantic” or “thoughtful”. It falls into the “practical” category which is a good one to avoid for sentimental holidays such as Mother’s Day.

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